Darkest Days To Come
by Joaquin'sFangirl24
Summary: This fan fiction takes place after the attack and Merrill is having trouble sorting out his feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!

**DARKEST DAYS TO COME-**Merrill Hess can't seem to get over what has happened. Night terrors are destroying his sanity as well as his life. Finding it hard to cope he tries to hide his feelings from the family; they aren't fooled for a second. Can he sort out his feelings before it's too late?

** Chapter I: The Day After **

The house was clean now; the moldy, dingy boards that covered the windows and doors were gone. The Hess household was back to normal, or so they thought.

"Bo, go get your uncle, Morgan and I will be waiting in the car." Graham called from the master bedroom as he was getting ready to leave.

"Okay daddy." She replied, before bounding out of the front door in her cute lacey blue and white Sunday dress.

Merrill sat up in his bed, his mind was clearly troubled. He hugged his legs tightly to his chest, he didn't sleep very well that night. He had been up since three that morning, just thinking about everything that had happened. Yesterday had finally gotten to him. He could feel the tears starting to pool up in his bright green eyes, he closed them tightly for a second trying his hardest to fight them back, he didn't want anyone to see him like this.

There was a sudden knock at the door of the garage house.

"Uncle Merrill, daddy wanted me to come get you." Bo's sweet voice called from behind the door, snapping him out of the trance he was in. _Damn _he thought to himself, he threw on the dark grey shirt that was next to the bed and went to get the door.

Bo smiled sweetly when her favorite uncle came to the door. Merrill loved her to death she reminded him so much of her mother. He kneeled down to her level before looking into her big eyes.

"Bo honey, tell your dad I'll meet you guys there and be careful going down the stairs, Okay?" She nodded before hugging him and skipping down the stairs. He watched as Bo got lifted into the SUV and drove off. As soon as they were out of sight, Merrill closed the heavy wooden door and started getting dressed in a white button-down shirt, navy blue tie, black dress trousers and shoes. He combed his hair back, bounded down the stairs, got into his car and left for the church.

He got to the church just in time, the sermon hadn't started yet. He walked into the huge red brick building and found his usual seat between Morgan and Bo. The congregation stood to sing the first hymn of the morning.

"Please be seated." Graham instructed as soon as the song ended. As soon as everyone found their seats once more, the preaching began. It hadn't been 20 minutes before Merrill felt his mind start to wander again. He didn't even notice that Bo had fallen asleep in his lap, an hour had passed and he only snapped out of it when Morgan placed his hand on his shoulder and shook him slightly.

"Come on Uncle Merrill. Church is over." He said. Merrill just smiled, he loved his nephew to death as well and forgot just how mature he was sometimes. He picked up his niece trying not to wake her, with no avail and handed her to her father.

Graham looked into his younger brother's eyes.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest, you look exhausted. I'll bring you back some lunch." He told him with the utmost care in his voice placing his hand on Merrill's shoulder. He nodded, before walking out of the building. Moments later he got to his Pacific blue Toyota Corolla, got in and started back towards the house.

When he got back, he parked in his usual spot and picked up the lighter off the passenger side seat and opened the door. He stepped out of the car and made his way to the trunk, as he leaned against it he pulled an ultra light cigarette out of his pocket and lit it taking a long, slow drag. He had quit the habit after Morgan was diagnosed with asthma, ironically that was part of the reason he started again. _Graham would kill me if he knew I started smoking again. _He said to himself taking one last drag before putting it out on the gravel road. Merrill walked up the stairs slowly loosening his tie. When he got through the door, he started getting undressed. He then put on a tattered old pair of blue jeans and the grey shirt he answered the door in and some tennis shoes and made his way to the main house.

As he got in the house, he went into the kitchen and got a coke out of the fridge, he moved to the couch and plopped himself down reaching for the remote. He turned on the baseball game and reminisced about the time he used to play, anything to get his mind off of what happened. He opened the coke can and took a sip, he felt himself dozing off so he put the can on the coffee table and fell asleep. Just as fast as he fell asleep he woke up again to the slamming of the front door.

"Kids, go change and give me your clothes, I need to do the wash." Graham instructed, standing behind the couch. He handed Merrill a white styrofoam Togo box.

"I brought you back a cheeseburger and fries." He said. Merrill just smiled his thanks and started eating it.

Later that night Merrill decided to get some fresh air and have one last cigarette that night, he made his way slowly to the picnic table, lighting his cig. He suddenly heard a door close, as he sat down.

_Christ, I hope no one saw that. _He thought to himself, the last thing he needed was a lecture from someone with so much "faith" in God that he blatantly told him he hated him. He let out the breath he was holding confident that no one saw him. He took another drag closing his eyes, he started to relax, and little did he realize that Graham was standing behind him.

"I thought you quit Merrill!" Graham said, nearly knocking his young brother off the table with his tone.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" He continued, _damn he saw me!_ He thought to himself as he tried to gain his composure again.

"I did, but…" he started but was cut off by the words he thought he would never hear.

"Just don't do it around the kids alright." Graham said with a wink and smiled. Merrill just laughed before calling his brother an asshole and playfully punching him in the arm.

After dinner the four members of the Hess family were sitting in the living room, watching the news. Graham stood up to go into the kitchen and clean up.

"Bo, Morgan its past your bedtime, I'll be in there in a minute to tuck you in." Bo looked to Merrill then her dad.

"Can uncle put me to bed?" Bo begged, pouting. Her dad just laughed and nodded, and with that, she started pulling on her uncle's arm and off they went to the bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Merrill walked into the kitchen to help with the clean up. He still looked tired, he looked to the ground as he grabbed a plate and started to dry it.

"You didn't get any rest when you got home did you?" He asked knowing full well what the answer was, Merrill just shook his head.

"Why don't you go to bed?"

"I figured I'd help you with the dishes." Merrill offered, yawning, hoping he would sleep better tonight.

"I can handle this, just go to bed. I'll need you to help cook for the BBQ tomorrow." He said washing another plate. Merrill just patted his brother on the back and made his way to the garage house. He got inside, he went into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth before going to bed. As he reached the bed he took off his shirt, jeans, and shoes before moving back the sheets. He put his head on the soft pillow while reaching for the small clock radio on the bedside table turning it on.

Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues" quietly flooded the room that night. He had always liked Johnny Cash, and he was relieved that there was music on the radio rather than news about the damned aliens.

"When I was just a baby, my mama told me 'Son, always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns.' but I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. When I hear that whistle blowin' I hang my head and cry." He sung to himself, he turned off the radio when the song ended; he also turned set the alarm for 9am. As he reached for the lamp to turn it on, he took the book off the small wooden end table. After reading for an hour, he looked at the neon red numbers on the clock that read 11:30pm, _I should really try to sleep_, he told himself, turning off the small dusty lamp.

He pulled the faded red sheets over his head and proceeded to doze off. Merrill woke up screaming in a cold sweat, he sat there for a moment trying to steady himself once again. All he could wonder was why? He couldn't understand why this had to happen to them, first his sister-in-law's death, now this? He looked at the clock; it read 2:45am.

_Another sleepless night, _he thought to himself as he got up to get a shower. He tested the water after turning it on for a few minutes and proceeded to get in. He thought what if they come back? And if they did, what if they succeed? He finished his shower and waited for the sun to come up.

_Chapter 2 will be up soon._

I couldn't help but add the Johnny Cash song. Congratulations to Joaquin Phoenix and Walk the Line on their Golden Globe victory


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter II: The Barbecue **

It had been a long night, but 9:00 had finally rolled around. The sun came in through the small window, disguising just how cold it was outside. He got out of bed and walked to the closet, took the only long sleeved shirt he owned off the hanger, threw it on before putting on his jeans and shoes and opening the door. As soon as he cracked it a little bit, a cold wind cut through the thin material of his shirt he turned around, and took the dark green hoodie off of the bathroom doorknob and put it on.

He stepped onto the balcony, the crisp, cold breeze blowing through his hair. He looked down into the yard and noticed the kids, so he figured he would go into the cornfield and smoke. Merrill got half way into the cornfield, and lit up his cigarette, it was enjoyable, especially after last night. He closed his beautiful eyes, he could smell the sweet sent of blueberries wafting through the air, a shiver brought him back to reality. _Who barbecues on one of the coldest days in November? _He wondered to himself, putting out the cigarette on the bottom of is shoe. He slowly started walking to the house with his hands in his pockets.

Morgan saw the smoke rising from the field. He took a puff from his inhaler and ushered his sister into the house, locking the door behind them.

"What's wrong?" she whispered looking up at her brother. He just pointed out the window to the rustling in the massive acres of cornstalks. They were relieved when they saw their uncle emerge from the field with his hands in his pockets.

He tried to open the door only to find it locked. He searched the pockets of his jeans for his keys as Graham opened the door.

"Why did you lock me out? You weren't trying to get rid of me this soon were ya?" he asked jokingly, looking at the kids.

"Sorry Uncle Merrill, I thought you were an alien." Morgan said honestly. Merrill's heart skipped a beat as he stood there shocked and obviously heartbroken. _How could he even think that? _He wondered to himself as he felt the tears running down his cheeks. Graham quickly told the kids to go outside and play. He then hugged his brother, trying to comfort him.

"Cheer up, it's alright. He didn't mean anything by it…" Graham reassured him.

"Now come on, where is that culinary genius that makes the best potato salad, baked beans, and German chocolate pie I've ever tasted." Merrill just smiled at the efforts of his brother. He walked into the kitchen and started cooking. A couple of hours later Bo came inside and announced that the grill was ready. Graham took the platter of chicken, steaks, and shrimp out to the grill as the doorbell rang. Merrill stuck the pie in the oven then ran to get the door. It was Caroline with a homemade blueberry pie, and a seven-layer salad. He did his gentlemanly duty and put the dishes in the kitchen for her.

"How you guys holding up?" she asked looking him over.

"Fine…" he replied flatly, getting the chips out of the cabinet. Graham came back in, saying everything should be ready in thirty minutes to an hour.

"I'm going to take the stuff outside." Merrill told her. She offered to help him take some of the stuff and he nodded his approval. When everything was ready, Graham stood to make a toast to good friends, a wonderful and loving family, and good food. They ate and conversed with each other, and after they got done eating. Merrill went over to the new swing they had installed before all this shit happened, Caroline went over to sit with him.

"Are you ok? You seem upset about something." She asked looking at him as the swing rocked back and forth gently. He looked at the ground kicking up some dirt.

"Yeah, I'm just tired…" He told her, looking up at her wondering if she believed the lie.

"…Sorry if I seemed rude earlier." He continued, looking down again. She lifted his head, looking him in the eye.

"You know if you have something on your mind you can tell your brother right?" She asked. Merrill just nodded again. She smiled, and he knew that she also accepted his apology.

"Come on, your brother wants to play touch football somehow, and before I forget, that pie that you made was wonderful! You have to give me the recipe." She told him as they got up and walked toward everyone else. He laughed and told her that he'd give it to her before she left.

"Graham! How do you plan on playing football of any kind with only five people?" Merrill called.

"You four against me." He answered back. Merrill just looked at him in disbelief.

"That's not really fair is it? I mean why don't we make it even, me versus you?" He said sizing up his brother. Graham looked at the kids and Caroline, they all nodded they're approval of the idea.

"Come on then, I'll take you on." Graham said looking his brother up and down. Merrill nodded and the game started.

Bo was on the side lines acting like a cheerleader, but twenty minutes later, something unexpected happened.

"What the hell Graham!" Merrill yelled holding onto his ribs. Graham looked in shock at what he just did.

"I thought we were playing touch football not tackle football." He continued, still doubled over in pain. Graham put his hand on Merrill's back, but Merrill could feel the rage building up inside of him about to surface. Caroline told the kids to go inside because she had a bad feeling about what was about to happen. _Why did he do that? First my arm when we were kids, now this? _Merrill straightened up slowly, and then out of no where, took a swing at his brother, hitting him square in the nose and busting it. Graham defending himself hit Merrill back, first busting his nose, then once again, busting his lip wide open.

They both fell to the ground then, wrestling and punching each other. Caroline finally broke them up, Merrill looked the worst out of the two, he looked at Graham who didn't look nearly as bad, he then spit out the blood that was filling his mouth. Graham could still see the rage burning in his brothers eyes, Merrill just turned to walk to his car. _Bastard,_ he muttered under his breath before getting into his car and driving to his hospital.

"What's wrong with you!" She exclaimed obviously angry at what had gone down. Graham just looked at her.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself? That's your brother; I wouldn't expect you to do that to your kids, much less Merrill, who looks up to you so much. I've never seen you like this! And the least you could have done was warned him about you sudden mind change." She lectured. Graham cleared his throat and softly apologized.

"Don't apologize to me. I'm going to take you to the hospital and if Merrill is there, I would suggest that you tell him exactly what you told me." She said before walking to the house to tell the kids to come on after getting a dish towel with ice in it. Graham just leaned against Caroline's car thinking to himself. The three of them finally came out of the house and Morgan handed the towel over to his dad, with a disgusted look on his face. He had seen what had gone on between the two of them

Graham held the towel to his nose; it burned like a cold fire piercing through his entire body. He got into the car and they left for the hospital. They arrived fifteen minutes later and parked next to Merrill's car. They almost passed each other when Graham and Merrill stopped beside each other.

"You cracked my ribs and broke my nose you know." Merrill informed his brother taking his keys out of his pocket. As he was about to walk to his car, Graham stopped him with his one free hand.

"Look Merrill, I'm sorry. I don't know what had gotten into me; I didn't mean to hurt you that badly. I hope over time, you will forgive me." Graham said, walking toward the double doors of the hospital. Merrill just whispered, _I already have._

Merrill stopped off by the local drug store to fill the prescription the hospital gave him for the pain.

"It should be about an hour Mr. Hess." The pharmacist told him as she took the prescription. He told her thanks and went to look at the magazines; he started flipping through a sports magazine. He got bored so he went to the grocery section and picked up a bag of sour cream and onion ruffles and a pack of Dr. Peppers. Checking his watch, he noticed that it had been nearly an hour, so he went to the pharmacy and picked up the prescription, paid for the chips and sodas and left for the house. When he got home, he went to his room and put the Dr. Peppers and Ruffles on his bed, and went to the main house.

When he got in, he started writing down the pie recipe for Caroline. He then put it in his pocket and figured he'd clean up. Two or Three hours had passed and everyone else came back, and Merrill gave the recipe to Caroline. He told everyone goodbye and made his way toward the garage. Once he set foot outside the door however, Bo and Morgan followed him out.

"Uncle Merrill…" Morgan called, Merrill turned around to look at them.

"We want to spend all day with you tomorrow." He said, Bo nodded and smiled before adding.

"Yeah, we mean night time too." Merrill laughed to himself.

"Its okay with me, go ask your dad, then let me know what he says." He told them, Bo when right away. However, Morgan didn't, he just stared at his Uncle Merrill, looking him up and down.

"What, why are you looking at me like that?" Merrill asked, looking at his nephew. Morgan pointed to his side.

"Does it hurt?" He asked back. Merrill just ran his hands over his bandaged ribs, looking into the sunset.

"A little bit, but I'll be okay." He reassured him. He had a feeling that Morgan saw what had happened.

"Don't let dad get to you." He said with a smile. Merrill ruffled Morgan's hair in a playful way.

"I won't." He said. That moment, Bo came outside. She happily told the two guys that he said yes. Then they both carefully hugged Merrill and watched as he disappeared over the garage.

He got undressed and then unwrapping the bandages from his ribs, stepped into the hot shower he set for himself. He let the hot water run through his hair and down his back. He took a deep breath, which he then regretted because an extremely sharp pain shot through his back and chest. He got out of the shower rebandaging his ribs; he got dressed in a pair of black and blue flannel PJ bottoms and took his medicine. He went to the bed and carefully sat on the bed, taking the book of the nightstand and turning on the lamp; he carefully laid himself down and started reading. He looked at the clock; it said it was 7:15pm. He felt himself starting to doze off, but shot himself awake and read some more. He was startled suddenly; he then looked at the clock. 1:00 am. _Why don't I remember anything between 7:15 and now? I must have fallen asleep. _He thought to himself.

He went to the mini fridge and grabbed the last can of Mountain Dew he had and started drinking it. He started wondering to himself why he never bought a TV for his room. _I'll get one tomorrow, and I'll get a cable hook up out here too. _He told himself with a sigh. All he wanted was a good nights sleep, was that too much to ask for. He got up and put on a shirt and jacket, grabbing his keys he walked out the door and made his way towards the house. He started to unlock the door carefully, trying not to wake up anyone in the house up. He got in as quietly as he could, and went to the couch, he started to sit down as he turned the TV on low. Graham came down stairs slowly and breathed a sigh of relief when he found Merrill sitting there.

"What are you doing? I heard the door open." Graham said, Merrill just looked up at him.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to wake you up. I just couldn't sleep. I'll go back to the garage if you want." He offered. Graham just shook his head, and told him he could stay, but not to wake the kids. Merrill said that he wouldn't and Graham went back to bed. Merrill just relaxed on the couch and watched whatever was on TV until the sun came up.


End file.
